From Darkness, Light Prevails
by mahaha
Summary: After making a bad decision, Bella walks away from the only thing that ever truly mattered to her, and starts with a strange new beginning. But her old life is not so willing to let go, Jacob and Edward fight for her affections and darkness reappears.
1. Fallen

* * *

Greetings. Although I have other, mulitple accounts, I like creating new ones for the sake of not being known.

This, however, is my first story, ever, for Twilight.

So, blah blah blah, I don't own Twilight. I rely too much on spell checker, and am horribly Australian, so if you notice things sounding different then normal, my fault, sue me. (Not literally)

While this story starts out nice, chances are it will start getting darker. Don't take everything for granted in the first chapter, I like to screw with peoples minds.

All that being said and done.

Enjoy!

* * *

The rain had halted, like an omen, the fine drizzle had cleared, leaving the sky blanketed lightly with clouds.

I looked out the window of the dressing room, Alice could have seen the sun coming out, but it still had me worried. Months of preparation had wound down to this, a local town hall, decorated by the Cullen girls, enough food to feed a small country for a year, and me in a wedding dress, standing in a dressing room, flanked by my bridesmaids.

Alice was fussing over my makeup, messing with two identical mascaras and trying to decide which one would suit me. Rosalie was staring at herself in one of the large mirrors, adjusting her soft lavender dress so it sat perfectly, long blond hair twisted up with flowers through it.

"Perfect." Alice declared, stepping back to admire her handiwork. Glancing in the mirror, I could see my eyes, made to look large and open, set off by the white wedding dress, and the veil, soon to be lowered over my face.

Someone rapped softly on the door, and it opened to reveal Esme and Renee, Esme beamed, seeing me, and Renee burst into tears, of happiness or despair, I couldn't tell.

"You ladies ready?" Charlie asked, seeing him dressed nicely in his tux made my insides twist, and I gave a nervous smile, rising to my feet.

"Try not to trip." Alice advised. "And don't cry, it'll ruin the makeup." Rosalie just calmly gathered up her bouquet, handing me mine and Alice hers.

Renee kissed me on the cheek, helping me lower my veil.

Before me, the aisle seemed to become impossibly long, and all I could think of was breathing, and not tripping, one hand on Charlie's arm, like a steady pillar. The roses in my hands gave off a fresh fragrance, and everyone watched me as I walked, love in their eyes. Finally we made it to the end, where Charlie gave me away.

Edward watched as I took my place at his side, and took my hands in his, and words were spoken, it was quiet for a moment when I realised that it was my turn to speak, but all rational thoughts had escaped me, and all I could see was the people in the hall. None of the Quileutes had come, despite the invitations, people from school were beaming up at us, the happy couple, Renee was smiling, though I knew she was silently worrying, Alice's face had paled, and when I turned to look at her, she gave me a stern look. She knew what was coming, even before I knew, she had known.

My silence was starting to confuse people, I could see smiles star to fade slightly, and Alice gave a subtle nudge to my back.

My eyes filled with tears as I contemplated what I was about to do.

"I can't do this." I told Edward softly, his smile started to fade, and I shook my head. "I'm so sorry." I told him, taking my hands from his, I turned to the rest of the hall and began to walk away from the only thing I thought had ever mattered to me.

People began to rise, like they were going to stop me somehow, and Alice and Rosalie stood there, dumbstruck, Rosalie more than Alice. Esme looked as shocked as everyone else, but Renee, I could have sworn the glint in her eye was victory.

But I walked past them, ignored there looks, the pain in my chest felt like my heart was going to tear, my lungs were short of breath and my stomach was a nest of snakes.

My hands pulled at my veil, tearing it from my hair, and pulling the pins that held my hair in its elegant twist, I got to the door of the hall and kicked off my kitten heeled shoes, part of me, the part in denial, was amazed at my ability to go as long as I did without falling.

As I opened the doors and walked outside, the heavens opened, and rain began to pour down, I turned my face to the sky, feeling water mingling with my tears and only one thought going through my mind

_I was free._

* * *

"I'm not saying what you did was a good thing." Renee commented as we lowered a clean set of sheets onto my bed.

We were home, not home in Jackson, or Forks, but in Phoenix, because no matter how I warmed to Forks, Renee had never lost her love of Phoenix. Phil had welcomed the move, home, it seemed, had great drawing power.

"Mom, admit it, you're happy." I told her as we tucked in sheets. My bed, in an unfamiliar house, our old one having been sold some time ago. I was still getting used to it.

Our plane had landed earlier that day, Phil and Renee had only just started unpacking things, so all my possessions I had left behind were carefully stored in boxes, waiting for me to unpack them, along with my bags from Forks, retrieved from Charlie's house.

"Baby, you're just so young. Give it a few more years, maybe you'll decide you do want to get married." Renee assured me with a hand on my shoulder.

"Mom, I broke Edward's heart and dumped him at the alter." I protested, shrugging off her hand and moving downstairs our spacey home.

"He left you before, he broke you, and maybe you two needed some time to work out what you really want." Renee said, as she followed me. She had been trying to comfort me about my decision, it wasn't working.

"Who does?" Phil asked, he was in charge of unpacking kitchen boxes and was currently deciding where cooking pots should go. Directing him towards a corner cupboard, I opened out fridge to see if someone had put food in it yet.

"None of your business." I snapped at Phil's question. I instantly felt bad about it, but he seemed to shrug it off. Looking over my shoulder, he observed the lack of food in the refrigerator.

"Takeout?" He proposed. I sighed and shut the fridge, digging up the box that contained local food menus.

Phil had the sense, when he picked up our food order, to also grab groceries, such as milk and cereal, the milk he was currently drinking from out of the carton.

"So honey." Renee said as she used a fork to dig through a food box. "Why did you leave him?"

I took a moment, to clear my thoughts and to concentrate on breathing, enjoying what little calm there was.

_I'm so sorry._

"I'm eight weeks pregnant." I told them. "With another man's baby."

Phil sprayed milk all over the table, while the blood drained from Renee's face.

"I think I'll leave you ladies to talk." Phil announced, making a bolt for the back door, while I sat there under the scrutiny of Renee's stare.

"Please tell me this is a joke." She said, looking like the apocalypse was upon her.

"I found out three days before the wedding." I explained quietly. "I needed time to think, but everything was happened so quickly."

"Oh honey." Renee said sympathetically. "How could you be so stupid?! You had a nice boyfriend, who wanted to do the right thing and marry you, he had nice family, he had money, but most of all he was perfect! And you slept with someone else."

"I couldn't get married and not know if it was the right thing!" I exclaimed. "I loved Edward, more than anything, but Jake loved me, and everything was confusing."

"So you cheated on your fiancé, just to find out of you loved him that much?" Renee asked, clearly as confused as I felt. "Bella, what were you thinking?"

"Jake was my friend, but his people, and the Cullen's, it's confusing, but they told me, one or the other, once I was married to Edward, I couldn't see Jake again, I didn't know what to do." I cried. Tears made their way down my cheeks, and Renee pulled me into a hug.

"Poor, poor Edward." She said, as she patted my back. I pulled away from her.

"Poor Edward?" I asked. "What about me?"

"Please, that poor boy must think you don't like him or something, this will haunt him forever." Renee said. "Call him." She handed me the phone.

"And say what?" I asked, moving around the kitchen and putting away more kitchen equipment, I needed something to do.

"Anything, tell him you love him." Renee declared.

"Then what?" I snapped, throwing things down with unnecessary force. "Hi honey, sorry I left you at the alter, then fled town, let's try again in November, when I'll be eight months pregnant, fat and miserable, oh, did I mention the person you hate most got me knocked up?" I mimicked.

"You're thinking about actually going through with this pregnancy?" Renee asked, looking almost horrified.

"Mom, I love and respect you, but this is the twenty first century, people have babies out of wedlock."

"Don't speak to me like that Bella." Renee cautioned. "You can't be serious, babies require work, they require money, you're still in College."

"I know that, I'm not stupid okay, but really, you set a good example that women can be single mothers."

"Honey, when I had you, I was educated, I was married, before I left your father, I had support when you were very young, but doing this alone from the start is going to be more difficult than that." Renee lectured.

"I know okay!" I declared. "But, I'm going to do this, because I really don't see a way around this, Jake doesn't need this on his shoulders."

Phil chose than moment to come in through the back door.

"Everything okay?" He asked cautiously.

"You're not having an office." Renee said, Phil and I looked at her confused. "The room that was going to be the office, is going to be the nursery, I won't let you do this alone Bella, and I'm going to help. We are going to help."

With a cry of happiness, I leapt at her and hugged her.

* * *

The doctors office was full of people, I shuffled nervously closer to Renee as someone near me coughed loudly. I could see pregnant people, one girl, dressed all in black, looked about as young as me, but what caught my attention was her black shirt, straining around her large pregnant belly, she didn't look nervous, or frightened, she looked bored. A middle age woman, sitting near the goth girl, was bouncing a small child on her knee, huge diamond wedding ring dancing in the light, she threw a dirty look at the goth girl, or to be more precise, her swollen stomach, and moved slightly away from her, like it was contagious.

I glanced down at the reading material, magazines that were older than I was and a children's book that was falling to pieces and looked like something had been chewing on it, not the most appealing.

"Isabella Swan?" Someone called, I practically ran over, dragging Renee with me. We were led into a small office, where a balding middle age man read a sheet of paper in front of him.

"Well, blood work's back and congratulations, you are expecting." He said this with a monotone voice that made me doubt the existence of his personality, but the words were a little more important.

"When?" I asked, the doctor squinted at me. "When am I due?" I asked, I had some rough idea, but it never hurt to hear it from a professional.

"I can't tell by this, but I can schedule an ultrasound, as well as several prenatal appointments over the coming months." The doctor said, not looking at Renee and me, but the wall behind us. I made a mental note to get another doctor. Renee must have had the same thoughts, because she got to her feet, dragging me with her.

"Thank you so much for your time, well make those appointments." Her false cheery voice sounded fake, but the doctor didn't seem to care.

"Well that was an experience." I muttered as soon as we were out of the office. Renee laughed.

"Edward is coming back." Alice announced as she bounced into the room, the remaining Cullen 'children' turned to look at her. They were taking advantage of playing poker when Edward wasn't around to read minds and Alice wasn't predicting the winner. It didn't help that Jasper could feel someone when they got good cards, or that Emmett was leaning over enough to look down Rosalie's shirt, that his cards were all on display.

"Where was he?" Jasper asked, Alice shrugged and skipped out of the room, Emmett stood up.

"We'd best go greet the prodigal son." He announced, Rosalie and Jasper put down their cards and followed suit.

Edward came walking out of the forest, soaking wet, but seemingly uncaring. Stray rays of sunlight were breaking through the clouds, making parts of his skin shimmer, he was oblivious to it all.

"Hey man, you missed the party." Emmett said, as Edward walked towards the house.

"Shut up Emmett." Rosalie hissed, slapping the back of his head.

Edward ignored all of them, walking past into the house, where a loud smashing could be heard from the inside.

"Looks like we'll be needing that new TV after all." Alice sighed. The four of them stood outside, wondering whether it was safe to go back inside.

"Why couldn't you have seen this coming Alice?" Rosalie asked, glaring at her sister.

"I did, just not until we were standing there.' Alice protested. "I don't think Bella's coming back."

"Great." Jasper muttered. "Another few centuries before someone like Bella comes along, he's going to be as happy as a grizzly."

"I don't think there was someone else for him, now or ever, it's always been Bella, and now, she's gone." Alice said.

"Well, that settles it." Rosalie exclaimed. "We're going to find her, tie her up and drag her back here, even if it's the last thing we do."

"And do tell Rose." Emmett said, sliding an arm around her shoulders. "Where might Bella be?"

"Well, genius, might I suggest we ask her father?" Rosalie snapped, Emmett drew his arm away.

"Good point." He nodded.

"I'll go find Esme and Carlisle." Jasper announced.

With that, they parted ways.

Charlie sat in his empty house, nursing a beer and a heavy heart. He knew his daughter was going to leave eventually, all her things were packed up, ready to be moved to the Cullen's house for when she became Mrs. Cullen, but the last thing he expected was for her to walk away.

He had protested the marriage, tried to get Bella to think about it a little more, but she had been stubborn, and with a diamond the size of a doll's head on her finger, he could help but feel like it was going to drag her down.

He knew from experience.

Seeing Renee and her new husband was like a kick in the guts, when Bella had come back, he thought about moving on, seeing other people, not moping over Renee's pictures and their wedding photo. But he had adjusted, even started to like the guy, but what Bella had done racked him with guilt.

Hours after she had walked away from the ceremony, Sam had found her wondering along the Quileute border, still in he wedding dress, soaked to the bone.

He didn't know if they had words, but Sam had drove her to the house, where Renee and Phil were waiting.

Bella hadn't hesitated, she disappeared upstairs and came down, fully dressed, told them that they were leaving. She wasn't going to stay in Forks.

They had spent three days in Port Angeles, before flying out to Phoenix.

It had only been two weeks, Charlie could already see dirt creepy into the house, and dishes were piling up, as well as pizza and Chinese boxes.

He missed Bella.

* * *

Aha my pretties. Let's break it down.

Reviews More chapters. Basic arithmatic people.


	2. Sing The Sorrow

Love love love love love.

That was for my reviewers, full of good words and confidence.

If you didn't review, then I don't love you. Deal with my lack of love.

I have a horrible concept of time, terrible, terrible. So if timing seems a little screwed, I really couldn't care less.

and on a positive note, this story will get dark, nothing too deep, just dark.

* * *

Phoenix was hot, much hotter than Forks, so right about now, all my clothes were useless.

I was resorting to stealing Renee's shirts, which were way too big and wearing them over jeans, but Renee took great pleasure in pointing out to me that in just over seven months, I would be huge. So right now, the objective was simple, find clothes that suited the climate, which would stretch. Things weren't looking so good, and right about now, I was wishing Alice were with me.

I still hadn't gotten the courage to call Charlie, in fact after I bolted from the wedding, I hadn't talked to anyone from Forks, no one had the house number, considering Phil had only had it connected last night, and not one really knew where I was.

I could picture where I should have been, on my honeymoon, being pampered, but those thoughts were just dreams at this point.

Renee was shopping with me, pointing out ridiculous clothes as suggestions, and I was mentally praying for some kind of miracle, and wondering who planned it so that pregnant women got fat.

Life wasn't fair.

Later that night, I sat in the kitchen, phone in one hand, half eaten meal in front of me. Phil and Renee had gone out on a date, leaving me in an empty house.

With a heavy heart, I dialled a familiar number and listened to it ring.

"Hello." Charlie's voice made me want to catch the first flight to Forks, the thought of hearing Edwards, and - although I wouldn't admit it – Jacobs, was unbearable.

"Hey Charlie." I said, in what I hoped was an upbeat voice, then felt bad about making him think I was happy elsewhere.

"Bella, honey, are you okay?" his voice was frantic, filling my ear, and my eyes began to brim, tears spilled down my cheeks as I remembered to breath.

"I'm sorry Daddy." I whispered, like a small child. "I couldn't do it."

"It's okay baby." Charlie wasn't the best person to be around when hysteric threatened, he was trying though, but unbidden, heaving sobs began to wrack my body and I struggled the breath. Charlie stayed on the other end, saying nonsensical things about nothing, until finally the sobs subsided.

"I'm pregnant." I managed to say, my voice thick, all I could hear was silence on the other end. "I slept with Jake and it was stupid, and I didn't think, but I did, and now I'm pregnant, and I can't come back there."

"Bella, you are always welcome here, you can't take care of a baby on your own, and Jake, are you going to tell him." Charlie was the voice of reason, the things I had been running away from revolved around the werewolves and the vampires, and he was unwillingly trying to drag me back into their war.

"Dad, Edward will kill Jacob, and Jake will take this as some kind of sign and I don't think it is." I argued, already a part of was formulating going back to Forks, but another, frightened part knew that the truth would Force the Cullen's and the Tribe into a war, I was some kind of war trophy and although Jake and Edward would never admit it, winner got me.

We talked, for hours, about anything, what I was going to do, the doctors that Renee and I had been considering, college, money, anything and everything. Renee and Phil returned, leaving me to continue talking. By the time I hung up, it was the early hours of the morning, so late in fact that I could sit out on the tiny veranda on our house and watch the sun rise. I could feel the ghost of icy cool lips pressing themselves against my cheek and I wondered, at that time, what the Cullens were doing.

* * *

"You look tired Chief." Emmett's words earned him a smack up the back of the head from Rosalie, it was for show though, if she wanted to hurt it, it would have been louder.

"Heard from Bella lately." Alice got straight to the point. The Cullen and Hale siblings, minus Edward, who was hunting with Carlisle and Esme, closed around Charlie's desk, like a pack working together to take down prey. Charlie looked from Jasper, to Rosalie, to Emmett and back to Alice, who flashed a predatory grin.

"Bella's doing fine." Charlie answered shortly. The phone sitting on his desk rang and his eyes flashed to it, then back to Alice, who was almost daring him to reach for it. He did, not taking his eyes off them.

"Chief Swann." The Cullen siblings could clearly hear Renee's voice, asking about what he and Bella had talked about. "Not the best time, I'll call you back." He put the phone down quickly, it was Jasper's doing that was making him feel nervous, but he didn't know that.

"So, Bella's living with her mom again?" Alice asked.

"Yeah, she's okay, living with her mom and step dad." Charlie answered.

"In Phoenix?" Alice asked.

"Yeah." Charlie winced as he realised he'd confirmed the Cullen's theory.

"Have a nice day Chief." Rosalie said, and with that, they turned and filed from the police station, leaving Charlie feeling like he'd run a marathon.

"So she's in Phoenix." Jasper confirmed as they walked from the police station.

"Better hide that from Edward." Emmett suggested as they headed towards his jeep, which was taking up a chunk of parking space in the Station lot.

"Personally, I plan to recite the Bible." Alice informed them. "I ancient Latin. That should keep his mind out of mine."

* * *

Jacob Black was hopeful. The minute he had heard the news of Bella's ill-fated wedding, with Charlie calling Billy to ask if Bella was around, he had been in hyper drive mode. It was starting to fade.

When they got the call, Jacob and the rest of the pack had filed out along their territory, it wasn't long before Sam picked them up. But unlike Jacob had requested, Sam hadn't bought Bella back to his house, instead driving her home. Jacob couldn't get the image from his head, the snatches seen through Sam's eyes, of Bella in her white dress, wet and cold and walking along the road like a ghost. Then Sam had changed and it was lost.

When he heard she had left town, he threw a fit, practically tore the house down as he ranted and raved. He had run away before, when he had gotten the invitation, but he had returned, tried to change her mind, and did something he regretted.

When he woke up, with Bella curled up beside him, he could help but have triumphant thoughts.

_She's with me, she loves me!_

But that was until Bella had woken up, panicked, dressed and fled.

"I can't do this." She had said, fleeing in her truck, he had planned to phase and follow her, but realising that the others would see what he had done stopped him. Instead he had waited until he could go without thinking of her, keeping he tucked in the very back of his mind, before he phased again.

Two months later she was getting married, and he hadn't been there, he had been sulking, mentally planning what would happen if he broke the news to the Cullen Clan about Bella's infidelity.

But he hadn't, she was his friend, who she wanted to marry, no matter how wrong he was for her, was her business.

* * *

I was awake, unable to sleep again, staring at the ceiling. Guilty thoughts ate at my mind, my conscience nattered at me.

Go to Forks, stay in Phoenix, talk to Jake, talk to Edward. Over and over the voices played, until I clamped a pillow over my head in an effort to drown out the voices.

"Bella?" Renee opened my door slightly. I lifted my head from the pillow, wondering what she was doing awake in the middle of the night. Renee carried a mug into my room.

"I had trouble sleeping when I fell pregnant with you, thought you might like something to drink." It was hot chocolate, a bit too sweet and heavy for my taste, but Renee had never been domestic and I appreciated the gesture.

"Thanks mom." I said, enjoying the warmth that radiated from the mug, but wishing I had another kind of warmth near me. A sharp pain in my chest followed this realisation, my heart was hurting.

Renee kissed my head, like she used to do when I was small, and left my room. I placed the mug of hot chocolate beside my bed and lay back down, I wanted Edward, I wanted Jacob, I wanted something, but my mind and my heart were battling against one another.

Edward had promised me that we would do things right, marriage, sex, turning, everything would be perfect.

_People shouldn't make promises they can't keep._

This thought floated across my mind unbidden, and I was almost disturbed by it.

In seven months, I was going to be a mother, which thought was the most frightening of all. By Christmas, I would have a baby. I was already deciding what it would look like. Inky black hair, tall, hopefully graceful.

These thoughts slid across my mind until finally, I fell into some kind of sleep, one that was plagued by dreams.

I woke with the sun in my eyes. After months of waking up to clouds and rain, this was unfamiliar, odd.

I want to go

I shook the thought away, home was here, in Phoenix, where I had grown up, where my life was. But in Forks, I had friends, I had Edward, I had Jacob.

I sat up suddenly.

I was going home.

* * *

Most my experiences on planes, had not been good ones.

There was the trip to Italy, with Alice beside me. On my to Forks in self-imposed exile, right about now, I was going to throw up. Frequent turbulence, combined with the beginnings of morning sickness, was not a very good mix. I spent half the trip in the bathroom, wondering how much I could be sick, before the captain announced we were close to landing.

This wasn't permanent. I told myself, I was going to Forks to tie up lose ends, tell Jacob I didn't love him more than a friend, and tell Edward that someone better was out there waiting for him.

Even though thinking about telling them that, was making my heart ache painfully, and even as I walked through the crowded airport, I was trying to think of something else to say.

Charlie was waiting for me, he even had my big red truck, another reason I was missing Forks so desperately, that truck had a part of me, belonged to me.

"How you doing Bell?" he asked, draping an arm around my shoulder and taking my suitcase from me.

"I'm back a little while." I said, trying not to get his hopes up.

"I could never leave this place either." Charlie said quietly, and I grinned as we made out way out of the airport.

Charlie had cleaned his house, that much was apparent, I was left wondering who he had got to help him. My little room was painfully bare, not that I planned to stay in it past the wedding, not to mention a lot of my clothes were at the Cullen's, where I was supposed to be.

I wondered whether it was insane to waltz up to their door and ask for my things back, if I was them I would have burned them.

* * *

Alice was sitting next to Jasper on the plane, Rosalie and Emmett behind them, reaping the benefits that came with first class. Suddenly Alice swore under her breath, out of character for her, so much that the others all looked up at her.

"Bella's not in Phoenix anymore." She explained in low tones.

"I thought you couldn't see Bella." Rosalie pointed out.

"No, I can see her mother discussing what happens if she decides to stay in Forks." Alice told them.

"So she's in Forks." Jasper concluded.

"And we're on a plane to Phoenix." Emmett added. "Great timing Alice."

"Carlisle is going to kill us." Rosalie added.

"He won't kill us." Alice assured them. "But we won't be able to use our cars again anytime soon."

"Talk about salt on the proverbial wound." Emmett groaned. He liked his Jeep.

"Why can't you see Bella?" Jasper asked his wife. Alice thought for a moment.

"At first I wasn't looking, then I thought she might be with the wolves." She explained, a disgusted look crossing her face when she mentioned the wolves. "Finally I thought she might just not want to be seen."

"Has Edward asked about her?" Rosalie asked, listening on their conversation.

"Edward once told her that if she made a decision, he would respect that, but I don't think he's ready to go. At any rate, I don't think he's going to let her go."

They sat through the rest of the plane ride in silence.

* * *

Forks was just as I remembered it, wet and cold. I felt like I had been gone an eternity, not three weeks. At any rate settling in again was easy. I cooked dinner, I ate with Charlie, I showered and changed into my nightclothes, but it was then that my heart started to hurt, at night I was lulled to sleep by Edward, or I would sleep, thinking of him hunting, but now, there was nothing.

Sleep came, but not easily, my dreams were nightmares, and none with substance. Shadows danced, monsters screamed, and amongst it all, two animals fought and blood was shed.

I woke, panting and sick. Stumbling down the hall I threw up everything I had eaten and then some, slumping onto the cool tiles to try calm my pounding heart and settle a heaving stomach. I slept there, under the florescent lights and the tiles freezing, waking up to Charlie carrying me back to my bed. Then I slept more and dreamed of a cold angel, embracing me.

Reviews equals Love

Love equals Chapters


	3. Dark Passion Play

* * *

My reviwers have my love, as always, those who haven't reveiwed, don't have my love. All the people who have subscribed, love as well.

You will notice, Edward will start to get darker, everyone will.

Truth will rip people apart. Somethings aren't written clearly, this is so you can make you own asumptions about the story.

* * *

I was standing on a precipice, looking down at the fall. Or at least it felt like it. My precipice was a doorstep and the great fall was the hole I kept digging myself deeper and deeper into.

I lifted a hand to knock, reconsidered and dropped my hand. Taking a breath, I went to knock again, and chickened out. Finally, I steadied myself, and knocked.

The door swung open, and I found myself staring into a very familiar bare chest.

"Don't you ever wear clothes?" It sounded like my voice, it came from my mouth, but I had no idea why I had said that. Jacob was quiet and I braved a look up at his face.

Before I could look however, I was crushed against him as he swept me into a painfully tight hug, burying his face in my hair. The heat and strength of his arms was so familiar and I could hear him murmuring something, but the blood rushing around my head was drowning out his voice with the steady thud of my heart. It took a moment, but what I could hear was Jake muttering my name.

Finally, after several long moments, he released me, so he could step back and stare at me, his warm hand not leaving my arm for fear of breaking contact.

I didn't know what was so fascinating, I was the same boring old Bella, long brown hair hanging straight, brown eyes, pale skin. I had gained a little weight, but under the amount of clothes I wore, that was impossible to determine.

"You're back?" Jake's voice was unbelieving, like I was a dream.

"I'm back. For a while" I confirmed, feeling embarrassed, with the tell tale burn of a blush on my face. This was the first time I had seen him since I had run out after waking in his arms.

"You didn't marry him." It wasn't a question, Jake didn't say it as one, but I still felt obliged to give him some kind of explanation.

"I couldn't do it Jake, I couldn't choose between the two of you." My voice was steady, but on the inside, I felt cold.

"Bella – " Jacob began to speak, but I cut him off.

"No, it was wrong." I argued. "Wrong of you two to make me choose. It wasn't a boyfriend I was choosing, it was a life, and you two made it so difficult, fighting like I was some kind of prize."  
Jake looked ashamed for a moment, but it disappeared as his face took on a determined expression.

"You didn't choose him."

"I didn't choose anyone."

"I still want you to choose me." Jake was not letting go, like a dog with a bone.

"I didn't come here to choose one of you, I came here to tell you to get over me Jake." I told him seriously. "I love you, I probably always will, but right now, you're both pushing me away, and I don't want you to pine over me like some kind of – " I struggled to find a word.

"Like some kind of dog." Jake answered for me, his face went blank, like he was fighting several emotions.

"Don't be pigheaded and stupid Jake." I told him. "Those are his words, not mine, don't put them in my mouth!"

He looked apologetic for a moment.

"So that's it?" he asked. "You're leaving for good?"

"I can't stay here Jake, it's mean." I told him.

"If I can't be with you, I'd still want to be your friend." Jake said, despair had crept into his eyes.

"It's not a friendship when you keep looking for something else Jake." I said.

_When did I get so philosophical?_

I brushed aside the thought and looked at Jake, I was sick of hurting people. But sometimes, they needed to be hurt.

* * *

I had left Jake after that, not wanting to be there and be the source of his pain. It was the easiest thing to do but it felt so hard.

Now I was sitting in Charlie's kitchen, trying so hard not to cry, but tears crept down my cheeks and my mouth tasted bitter with regret.

Edward.

He was next on my list, I didn't know how to approach him, walk right up to his front door? Call him? My options were scarce and all frightening.

I once told him I wasn't scared of him.

_You should be._

* * *

Edward would never hurt me, and I was glad I was the one mind he couldn't read, I needed to sever all ties to this life, and this was the only way I could do it.

Edward had hunted, he had killed, he had drunk the blood of his prey, but never had he felt the grim satisfaction that he had when he had hunted this time.

He had parted from Esme and Carlisle early on and gone on alone, hunting and killing, not even to feed, just for the thrill.

But he wanted bigger prey, he wanted to find the werewolf and kill him, the one thing he lived for and the dog had taken her away.

A more logical part of his mind argued that she had made a decision that had nothing to do with Jacob, but all he could see was the pain in her eyes as she had pulled her hands from him and fled from their wedding.

The one day that was supposed to be about them, and that dog had ruined it, Bella had been distressed when she got word that he had run away, and when he returned she had demanded that Edward let her see him. He had let her go, grudgingly, driven to the border between their lands and watched her fall into his arms, not noticing the damage he was doing to his steering wheel in the meantime.

After she had left Forks, he didn't feed, he let his mood get darker and darker, until he had fled, away from his family, away from the people of Forks, disappearing into the wilderness. But to be back, and hunt near Forks, gave him a sense of dark pleasure. An angry grizzly taken down made him imagine killing the wolves. It was only his family that kept him from doing so.

He was moving through a car park, heading into the hospital to talk to Carlisle, Esme had sent him, Edward could read her mind, could tell it was just to get him out of the house, so he went. He played the human, the dutiful son, going to visit his father at his work.

The minute he stepped into the hospital, everything changed.

He could smell her, tell that she was close, her scent was everywhere and it took some measure of control not to rip the hospital apart looking for her.

As it turns out, he didn't need to.

She was standing nearby, talking to one of the doctors, nodding in agreement as the doctor instructed her.

"…. Drink lots of water and stay warm."

Edward looked closely at Bella, she was pale, but otherwise fine.

Was she sick?

He was about to walk over to her, when he was stopped by non other than Charlie, blocking his way.

Even if he tried, Charlie couldn't have been able to stop Edward, he would be dead before he lifted a finger, only thinking what would happen to Bella if he killed Charlie, kept him from doing so.

"Chief Swann." Always the epitome of perfect manners.

"Mr. Cullen, I assume you have other business to attend to." Charlie was just as polite, but anyone could hear the ice in his voice.

"As a matter of fact I do." Edward said, pushing past Charlie and dodging out of his reach.

When Bella saw him, her eyes went wide, like a deer caught in the headlights, instinct had her looking around for possible escape, but Edward was a hunter, he knew when he had prey cornered.

* * *

Severe sickness and a fever had gotten Charlie panicked, and although I argued that I was okay, he still insisted on taking me to the hospital.

I was deemed fine, I had a touch of the flu, and I was slightly dehydrated, but I was fine, and it was when I was listening to the doctor lecture me, that I saw my father move into the path of someone.

I could have recognized him anywhere, his hair, his eyes, his face, his voice, speaking in his low quiet tones to my father. I saw his eyes flash between Charlie and me, I couldn't help it, I glanced around, almost as if trying to find a way out, part of me wondering how much he had heard, the other screaming for me to run.

Without any effort, Edward brushed past Charlie, heading for me, and I was overtaken by the feeling of being a trapped animal.

He stopped in front of me, the doctor who had been talking to me saw him coming and excused himself, leaving me alone to face Edward.

Edward stopped just in front of me, I could see him breathing, smelling me, emotions threaten to overwhelm me, but I managed to stand there under the scrutiny of his gaze for several seconds before he spoke.

"You smell like that Dog."

Several words jumped to my lips, mostly defending Jake, but I swallowed them down.

"I went to see him." I was being as open and as honest as I could, it was the least I could do. I was never a good liar anyway.

"You chose him?" It was a question, if what we thought was correct, Alice couldn't have seen me, I was pregnant with what would most likely be a werewolf.

"I chose neither." My voice was shaky, I could Charlie shooting us concerned looks over Edward shoulder, but he was too far to hear our quiet exchange. "I couldn't choose either of you."

"Why not Bella? It seemed pretty simple." His voice was harsh, I had never heard it like that and he must have realised, because his tone softened considerably. "You should have said something, we didn't need to get married right away."

"Edward, I loved you, I still do, but he was my best friend, and I couldn't be friends with Jake with my impending marriage hanging over us."

"You make it sound like you had no choice." Edward accused.

"I didn't have a choice. He was my friend, Edward, he was there when you left and it wasn't your fault, but I couldn't leave him, my heart and my head were pulling me in two different directions." I was trying not to cry, in some ways I was angry and this was helping.

"Why do your heart and your head say now?" Edward asked quietly.

"My head is telling me to get as far away from you as possible." I said just as quietly. "My heart is telling me I can't exist without you."

"Listen to your heart." Edward urged.

"We can't always live with foolish notions of following our hearts Edward." I said, even thought it felt like there was a vice around my heart and with every word I said, it was getting tighter and tighter. "Things have changed."

I turned to leave, a sense of déjà vu washing over me, walking away from Edward, I hoped it wouldn't become a habit.

"Why can't Alice see you?" He called after me. I paused, my theories having been confirmed.

"Why can't you read my mind?" I turned to ask.

I walked back to Charlie, who put his arm around me and led me outside to his cruiser.

"What was that about?" he asked, referring to the mind reading.

"Nothing." I told him, still fighting back hysterics.

* * *

That night, trouble sleeping found me lying on the bathroom floor again. Outside a storm was raging, lighting up the house with flashes of light shattering the darkness. Inside the bathroom, the bright light fought back shadows, and I closed by eyes against the burn of the light.

I turned over, feeling the cook tiles pressing into my back, and my stomach heaved in protest, I stilled, waiting for the nausea to pass, it eventually did, but I lost my like of the bathroom floor, getting to my feet and bracing myself against a wave of dizziness.

I turned off the lights, stepping outside the bathroom.

The sudden darkness disoriented me and I felt myself falling, only to be caught by cool marble arms that I knew so well.

Edward lifted me up, carrying me into my bedroom before placing me on my bed, half delirious with lack of sleep, I found myself fighting to keep my eyes open as I looked at him in the brief flashes of light.

"What are you doing in my room?" the words came out garbled and thick with lack of sleep, Edward gave a slight smile, pulling covers from underneath me and wrapping me in my blankets.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" he asked. It was the lack of sleep that made me talk.

"I can't sleep without you." I could feel tears dripping down my face as the truth hit me hard, no matter what I did, it would always be his arms I craved.

I felt his cool lips touch mine, and for a moment I was blissful and free, lost in the taste of him, but that moment ended too soon and I felt him lying down beside me and taking me in his arms.

That night I fell asleep in his arms, listening to the storm rage, feeling the coldness of his body seeping through the blankets.

I felt safe, even wrapped in the most dangerous of creatures, I felt safe

_If only it would last._

When I woke up, I was alone.

* * *

Que Dramatic music (dum dum dum) Will write more, if get more reviews.

I'm a review whore, I'm sure you all can relate.


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